okay I know you will love this one/for all republicans

chiroptera

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't. The aged cow was struck and killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare huge Cuban cigar in the other and was smiling happily with smeared lipstick on his face.
"What happened to you?" asked Hillary
"Well," the driver replied, "The farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me".
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.

WAIT FOR IT:

The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.' The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it!

KNEW YA'LL WOULD LIKE THIS ONE

chiro Rolling Eyes

pivalleygirl · Gross Misconduct Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 1540

If only!

chiroptera · Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:25 pm Post subject:

see I knew ya'll would love it

pivalleygirl · Gross Misconduct Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 1540

Thanks for the laugh, Chiro.

Ornery · Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject:

_________________
If we don't protect freedom of speech, how will we know who the assholes are?

Ornery · Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:55 pm Post subject:

And along the same line, another personal favorite of mine...

One Question Test

This test only has one question but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

THE SITUATION:

You are in Miami, Florida. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

THE TEST:

Suddenly you see a woman in the water... She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer and she looks familiar. You suddenly realize it's Hillary Clinton! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under forever. You have two options:

1) You can save the life of Hillary Clinton, or
2) You can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women.

THE QUESTION:

Here's the question, and please give an honest answer.

Would you select high contrast color film or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
_________________
If we don't protect freedom of speech, how will we know who the assholes are?

staltus · Gross Misconduct Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 782

Color of course, you can always digitally edit out the color if you decide you need B&W. Although for a truly special look you should amberize it to give it that aged look to match the subject.